“Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offsprings, comfort to our eyes and make us a leader ( an example) for the righteous.” (Surah Furqan, verse 74)
If you study Surah Furqan from verse 63, we have eleven verses which identify the characteristics of the good people and what makes their ranks reach very high in Paradise. The purpose of these verses is to encourage the readers of Qur’an to develop the same characters in them. Our today’s note will be focused on the lessons derived from Surah Furqan verse no. 74. It is a regular supplication pleaded by good charactered people: Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offsprings, comfort to our eyes and make us a leader ( an example) for the righteous.
The above verse is a desire to have wives and children who are modest, decent, obedient and humble. People get a lot of serenity and comfort when they see their children. It is a characteristic of the pious that they bring up their children in a cordial way teaching them morals and ethics and along with it keep supplicating to Allah to guide their children to good.
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
If you study the last part of the above verse, “Make us a leader of the pious,” it indicates that one must not only suffice his good qualities in him but pass it on to the next generation and lead others too towards good.
Every Prophet desired good for themselves and their offsprings
The previous Prophets (Peace be upon them all) used to make a supplication, “Our Lord, make me an establisher of prayers and also from my descendants too.”
Having descendants is a Blessing from Allah
Allah announces in the 72th verse of Surah Nahl, “Allah has made for you from yourselves, mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided you from the good things. Then in falsehood will they believe and reject the favours of Allah?” Thus one has to be grateful to Allah for being given children and grandchildren.
The first step to being grateful is to facilitate good upbringing of children in such a way that they prove to be beneficial for the parents, relatives, neighbours, country and humanity in general. Allah has already guided us with a methodology of good upbringing of children. Just merely choosing a good school is not enough but there are two things to be taken utmost care in the upbringing of the children.
Give enough time to your children
Most of us waste away our precious time with friends, entertainments, loitering and remaining busy with profession which should have rather been given to children. Bringing up children under one’s own observation is a real way to groom them into good citizen. Such activities should not be considered as time waste.
Being at home when free, is beneficial
The Prophet (peace be upon him) passed by a man who asked him, “ O Messenger of Allah, what are the ways for a Believer to achieve salvation as well as save himself from all difficulties?” He replied, “Through three things:
a) Control your tongue
b) Recall your sins and weep over it (out of regrets)
c) Consider your house to be enough for you.”
Point number ‘C’ can be understood as being at home whenever you are free, this will save you from time waste, protect you from falling into tribulations and give a lot of joy to you and your family by your presence.
Who are the protected one’s from Hardships and Trials
A Hadith of Prophet (peace be upon him) narrated by Abu Umama (Allah be pleased with him) as the narrator: There are three types of people of whom Allah has taken a guarantee to protect their honour, wealth, family and faith from turmoils, hardships.
- One who gets ready and walks to masjid to offer Fardh Salah regularly.
- One who leaves his house in the way of Allah.
- A person who returns home ( after his work) and greets his family with ‘As Salamu Alaikum’.
The presence of a father at home is virtuous
The presence of a father at home keeps the children in a discipline mode thus it is virtuous and safe to return home as soon as possible once you are done with your work. It is wrong on the part of many men who give up the entire responsibility of their children upon their wives and themselves keep loitering and pass time with friends till midnight. It is a big sin to deprive children of their rights of providing lessons in moral and ethics.
A companion came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and presented his matter, “ O Messenger of Allah, my wife cooks good in abundance but none of us feel that we have eaten enough.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, “Maybe you are eating alone and that is why Allah as lifted blessings from your food. Next time onwards eat together with whole family and take the name of Allah before eating, Allah will bless your food. ” The companion then applied the instructions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and found his food to be blessed.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) had nine houses and after Isha he preferred to go to his house and be with his wife. After Asar, all his wife used to gather at the house where the Prophet (peace be upon him) stayed. We must keep aside time to teach Islamic values to our children.
The Qur’an has preserved the wise advices that a man called Luqman gave to his sons. He was an ordinary man with extraordinary wisdom and Allah honoured him by revealing an entire Surah on his name. “We had bestowed Luqman with wisdom and told him to be grateful to me.” Luqman was an ideal father and his advice still remain applicable even today. Each one of us who wants to be a responsible father should adopt and apply the lessons that Luqman gave to his son. The Quran notes ten precious advices that Luqman gave to his son.
Luqman’s Ten precious Advices to his son
- O my son, do not associate partners with Allah, indeed shirk is the most heinous sin. How many of us do give this advice to their sons? We are happy to pay huge school fees and focus only on their career ignoring his akhera and spirituality. It is a matter of shame for those who are reluctant to inject the fear of Allah in their children's heart thinking that it will destroy their self confidence
- O my son keep doing good deeds and save yourself from committing sins. If it should be the weight of a mustard seed and be within a rock or anywhere in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. (Therefore fear Allah even when you are alone not seen committing sin by anyone). Even Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) used to say that always develop a fear of Allah in the hearts of children
- O my son, establish prayers Many of us do offer prayers but we don’t ask our children to get up for prayer and allow them the luxury of sleep during Fajr. We all know the plight of people who ignore Salah, Allah leaves them unattended. If your children do not offer Salah, then remember that they may not be obedient to you as well. If you do not lead your children to obey Allah then He will make them disobey you too. As per the instruction of the Prophet (peace be upon him) one must encourage his children to offer salah right from the age of seven and by ten he should be regular and punctual in it. The messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “If you protect the Deen of Allah (by practising it), Allah will protect you.
- And enjoin what is right This will cause peace in society
- Forbid what is wrong Stopping people from evil is the duty of every citizen otherwise evil will flourish and dominate the society.
- And be patient over what befalls you. Indeed that is of the matters (requiring) determination. Avoid the attitude of revenge and adopt pardoning people. Today people have lost patience and we see that brother fighting with his own brother, father against his son.
- Do not turn your cheek ( in contempt) towards people. Talk politely with all. Carry a smile on your face. As per a Sahih Hadith, Greeting your Muslim brother with a cheerful salam will also lead you to paradise.
- Do not walk through the earth exultantly. Indeed Allah does not like a self deluded and boastful person. Your walk should reflect your upbringing, humbleness and decency. Never walk boastfully displaying your wealth, power or strength.
- And be moderate in your pace Look at Luqman, how he is teaching his son even the way to walk on the street!
- And lower your voice, indeed the worst voice is the voice of a donkey. A donkey keeps on braying loudly, at times even without any purpose irritating others around him.
These are the ten advices given to his son by Luqman and the Qur’an recorded it for all fathers till the day of Qiyamah. Every father should try to be like Luqman the wise.