“And talk to the people in an Excellent Manner”
The above sentence is a part of the entire Quranic verse of Surah al Baqarah, in which Allah has taken important promises which includes: Being firm on Tawheed, Being excellent to parents, observing prayers as well as giving zakat. In the continuation of the verse, Allah adds up one more clause, “And talk to the people in an excellent manner.”
The inclusion of this clause about excellence in conversation amidst other most important essence of Islamic values gives us an idea how important is disciplined conversations. It refers not only to the content but also to the tone of talking to people. The Islamic rule of excellent conversation include, talking good about people while avoiding bitter criticism, negative, demoralising, backbiting and taunting. The Arabic Term here is ‘Qaule Ahsan’ and it has a very high status in Islam. One of the narration from Bukhari and Muslims informs us how vital is it to analyse before we utter a word from our tongue Many of us take our conversation for granted and speak whatever comes to our minds without cross examining the words: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “ Whoever among you is a Believer in Allah and the day of Akhirah then”
- If he speaks then he should speak good or keep quiet because whoever remains quiet will escape (from the punishment of Grave and Hellfire both)
- He should deal excellently with his neighbours
- Should show generous hospitality within their capacity towards their guest
We should be aware that whatever we are narrating will be questioned on the day of Judgement and therefore keep a careful watch on our tongue. Abdullah ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) whose status is huge, was told by the Prophet (Peace be upon him), “O Abdullah, if you are just sitting on the ground and drawing lines in the sand yet Allah will question you about your intentions of drawing those lines.”
There are two angels sitting on the either side of our shoulders and our Lord says, “Whatever comes out of your tongue they note it in your scroll.” You might forget what you had said but Allah does not forget. On the day of Judgement you will be told, “Read your scroll and conclude what do you deserve.”
The most cautious you should be while talking is when you talk to your parents or about your parents. Our parents should be on the top in our list of priority.The Qur’an instructs the degree of how soft your tone should be while addressing your parents. Especially when your parents reach old age, you have to take care of five things:
Whenever you talk them, then talk with respect, the Arabic term here is ‘Qaulan kareema’ Kareem means ‘honourable’. This includes speaking uttering in a respectable tone and use those words that makes parents happy and feel positive. Always exclude hurtful words and tones. Never be ruthless and lose your temper while talking to your parents. Allah has forbidden to be harsh and rude towards parents in words and actions. Today it is a common trend to desert parents and insult them through scoldings and many do it after getting married. If a man give his wife a priority over his old parents then it is a huge painful shock to them.
There is a Hadith with says that whenever you visit a sick person or a person who is under severe difficulties, then talk very gently and positively. This applies even when you attend a funeral, talk good, gentle and speak about the virtues of forgiveness and mercy of Allah. We are supposed to encourage the sick and give them hope of the Mercy of Allah and His Forgiveness because Angels are present there and they say ‘Ameen’ to your words . Consider this: You are at a funeral and you say, “May Allah forgive his sins”, you do not know how many angels are there to say Ameen to your words! The supplication of the angels can be a source of good for the deceased or the sick. Supposed you utter a wrong statement and that too is joined by Ameen of the angels, how much harm have you caused! Never underestimate the power of tongue. It can cause benefit and harm as well.
There is a hadith which should be enough for us to realise the value of our tongue and motivate us to use our tongue for good cause. “A good statement is a sadaqah (and reward).” Your spending money upon a needy, out of your earning may be very good but it is better that you speak with someone in a gentle tone. Consider this: If you give money to a needy how happy he turns! Sadaqah is an act that makes a person happy. If you speak good words to a distressed person, it is possible that his heart would be more happy than it could have been by your monetary help, that explains the statement of the Prophet (peace be upon him), “A good statement is a charity.”
Most of us have not valued the benefits of good usage of tongue that is why a majority of problems in society which including, rifts between spouses, family members, business partners have their epicenters in our tongues. Wrong usage of tongue or indisciplined statements hurling hurtful words have disturbed the peace in society. It is Shaytan behind this instigation. Therefore the Qur’an instructs us in Surah Al Isra, “Tell my worshippers that they should speak only that which is good because Shatyan sows disagreements between them.” Thus Shaytan makes us use our tongues in a rude manner and causes fights and disputes. Making us misuse our tongue is among the biggest weapon of devil.
Most of the complains of quarrelling couples are about bad usage of words. For wives, their husbands use rude and obscene words against them and for husbands, their wives use bitter words in back replies. A quarrel or dispute between a husband and a wife is a moment of joy for the devil because such fights lead to breaking of families, physical hostility, children being deprived of parents and a gloom to the entire family. Such hostility leads to ignorant decisions inclining to satisfying each’s ego and happiness is uprooted. Allah has exposed the plot of Shaytan in the above verse and reminded us again that “Indeed Shaytan is a hard enemy of man.”
A very noteworthy companion Muadh ibn Jabal, (Allah be pleased with him) once received a few very important guidelines from the Prophet (peace be upon him) and one of them was, “The biggest threat to all your good deeds comes from your tongue.” and he pointed his finger towards his tongue. This advice was a response to the question posed by Muadh (Allah be pleased with him) to inform him about a deed that can guide him to Paradise. It is the misuse of tongue that can destroy all your good deeds. Upon hearing this words, Muadh (Allah be pleased with him) asked, “Will we be questioned for what our tongue says?” He replied, “ By Allah, on the day of Qiyamah, many people, inspite of their lengthy worships, huge charity, will be dragged and thrown in the hellfire because of their tongue. Therefore if you speak, then speak good, otherwise keep quiet.” You will be accounted for whatever you say. Good words will lead you to Paradise and evil words will lead you to hellfire.