Sadaqah Jariah
Friday Lessons

Do you find it difficult to manage your tongue?

by: Shaykh Zafar ul Hasan
Translated by: Nisaar Nadiadwala
Do You Find it Difficult to Manage Your Tongue?

“And talk to the people in an Excellent Manner”

 The above sentence is a part of the entire Quranic verse of Surah al Baqarah, in which Allah has taken important promises which includes: Being firm on Tawheed,  Being excellent to parents, observing prayers as well as giving zakat. In the continuation of the verse, Allah adds up one more clause, “And talk to the people in an excellent manner.”

   The inclusion of this clause about excellence in conversation amidst other most important essence of Islamic values gives us an idea how important is disciplined conversations. It refers not only to the content but also to the tone of talking to people. The Islamic rule of excellent conversation include, talking good about people while avoiding bitter criticism, negative, demoralising, backbiting and taunting. The Arabic Term here is ‘Qaule Ahsan’ and it has a very high status in Islam. One of the narration from Bukhari and Muslims informs us how vital is it to analyse before we utter a word from our tongue Many of us take our conversation for granted and speak whatever comes to our minds without cross examining the words: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “ Whoever among you is a Believer in Allah and the day of Akhirah then”

  1. If he speaks then he should speak good or keep quiet because whoever remains quiet will escape (from the punishment of  Grave and Hellfire both)
  2. He should deal excellently with his neighbours
  3. Should show generous hospitality within their capacity towards their guest

We should be aware that whatever we are narrating will be questioned on the day of Judgement and therefore keep a careful watch on our tongue. Abdullah ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) whose status is huge, was told by the Prophet (Peace be upon him), “O Abdullah, if you are just sitting on the ground and drawing lines in the sand yet Allah will question you about your intentions of drawing those lines.”

 There are two angels sitting on the either side of our shoulders and our Lord says, “Whatever comes out of your tongue they note it in your scroll.” You might forget what you had said but Allah does not forget. On the day of Judgement you will be told, “Read your scroll and conclude what do you deserve.”

 The most cautious you should be while talking is when you talk to your parents or about your parents. Our parents should be on the top in our list of priority.The Qur’an instructs the degree of how soft your tone should be while addressing your parents. Especially when your parents reach old age, you have to take care of five things:

Whenever you talk them, then talk with respect, the Arabic term here is ‘Qaulan kareema’ Kareem means ‘honourable’. This includes speaking uttering in a respectable tone and use those  words that makes parents happy and feel positive.  Always exclude hurtful words and tones. Never be ruthless and lose your temper while talking to your parents. Allah has forbidden to be harsh and rude towards parents in words and actions. Today it is a common trend to desert parents and insult them through scoldings and many do it after getting married. If a man give his wife a priority over his old parents then it is a huge painful shock to them.