Establishment of Deen in our homes is the main duty of Muslims as husbands, fathers and heads of family. In his absence, the wife takes over the reign of duties.
Physical support
For a Muslim nikah to succeed, giving attention and time to the wife is important physical support. It's never defined as 24x7 because, along with the joy of the presence of a wife, even her absence should be felt.
A wife missing your physical support means it is correlated with emotional attachment. Intimacy should also be considered affectionately. He should be available for his wife in her difficulties, stress and sickness by sharing good and positive words to bring fantastic support. He should not burden his wife in any aspect.
Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan (may Allah preserve him) said:
It is not permissible for the husband to mistreat his wife, because Alla, says: “Treat them [women] with kindness” (Surah an-Nisaa’ 4:19).
(Al Muntaqa min Fatawa by Sh Salih Al Fawzan: 4/177)
Emotional support
A good Muslim should realize that it is the duty of a Muslim husband to be emotionally connected and available to his wife through expressing love and joy, as well as providing solutions to her problems too. When a husband takes care of his wife in sickness, emotional crunch, psychologically impulsive trials, in solving disagreements, such emotional support increases the emotional quotient in a marriage.
Prophet Mohammed (SalAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) said,
No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he may be pleased with another.
Financial support
A good Islamic husband should make himself financially fit, at least, to fulfill the basic needs of his wife. The husband should provide for her so she never needs to spread her hands before anyone because that may disrupt her esteem. Allah has already mentioned,
And do not crave what Allah has given some of you over others. Men will be rewarded according to their deeds and women ˹equally˺ according to theirs. Rather, ask Allah for His bounty. Surely Allah has perfect knowledge of all things.
And, We have appointed heirs to what has been left by parents and next of kin. As for those you have made a pledge to, give them their share.1 Surely Allah is a Witness over all things. Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially.
The above ayah have a few important lessons in financial support.
- The financial support does not mean luxury but provision to fulfill worldly needs.
- A supplication for Rizq is a part of financial support.
- A share in the husband’s inheritance ( and also as a daughter and mother)
- A regular income through halal means.
Spiritual support
When spiritual efficiency is high, it helps to stand up in crises and hardships without falling into any fitnah of shirk and biddah and Nikah is the best source to get support. A husband should always act as per the teachings of Islam and set an example in his family. As the ayah declares -
The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakāh and obey Allāh and His Messenger. Those - Allāh will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allāh is Exalted in Might and Wise.
The Arabic word for ‘allies’ is Auliya which also means supporters, well-wishers, protectors and guardians. There are five spiritual supports mentioned in this ayah. Fulfilling these offer a merciful pardon from Allah.
- Commanding good
- Forbidding evil
- Establish prayers
- Give zakat
- Obey Allah and His Messenger Prophet Mohammed (SalAllahualaihi wasallam)
Social Support
Prophet Muhammed (SalAllahu alaihiwasallam) took one of his wives whenever he went on an expedition. He kept on good terms with the relatives of his wives too.
There are a few examples from the biography:
- He continued good relationships with the relatives and friends of his deceased wife Khadijah (Allah be pleased with her).
- His marriage to Juwariyah bin Harith (Allah be pleased with her) caused the setting free of many war captives from her tribe.
Intellectual Support
The Muslim husband should be intellectually sound so that he can think about the betterment of his wife and children and overall marriage. A husband should involve the wife in her decisions and should ask for the wife's advice, like the prophet took the advice of his wife Sauda (Allah be pleased with her) in the crisis of Hunain. His companionship with Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) caused her jurisprudence and intelligence to grow strong, and she became a narrator of 1500 hadith approximately.
The Muslim husband is a strength for his wife and that is what Islamic marriages are all about. These strengths are the foundation of a strong and pious Muslim society.
