Men are in-charge of women by [right of] what Allāh has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.
The Arabic word for in-charge is ‘Qawwam’. Scholars have explained the term Qawwam as, ‘One who stands up for’, ‘one who takes care of’ and a few other similar meanings.
Muslim Husband as Provider
A husband is the sole supporter and provider in a Muslim marriage. His responsibility is to provide for his wife and treat her well in every circumstance. The wife's rights should never be neglected as Allah will ask the husband if he is unjust, cruel or harsh towards his wife. Islam has instructed Muslim husbands to take care of their spouse to please Allah.
Prophet Muhammed (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) stated:
Fear Allāh concerning women, for indeed you married them upon trust from Allāh—and intercourse with them was made lawful for you by the word of Allāh… So, they have a right over you that you feed them and clothe them in a befitting manner.
The above Hadith informs us of the following:
- Islamic marriages are trusts ( and every trust will be accounted for on the day of judgment).
- It is a part of Taqwa to be concerned about the rights of the wife.
- Marriage is permission for lawful sex.
- Being provided with clothes and food is a right of the wife.
A Loving Muslim Husband
A husband should be loving and merciful towards his wife in happiness as well as when she's upset or angry. It requires lots of expressing affection and tolerance to run a smooth transition in marriage. If a person doesn't understand the love of a wife and how to respond to it, it may lag in valuing a martial life. That is why learning and knowing the language of love is equally important in ably fulfilling rights. The following ayah explains the correct mindset towards marriage for Muslims.
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, there are signs for people who give thought.
A Gentle Muslim Husband
Prophet Muhammed (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) announced,
The right of the woman over her husband is that he gives her to eat when he eats, he buys her clothing when he buys clothing for himself—and he does not hit her in the face, he is not horrible towards her in speech or action, and he does not boycott her—and if he must, it is within the same house.
Ibn Hibban, Bayhaqi, graded sahih by Al Albani 3149
Mohammed, the Prophet of Mercy (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) said,
Indeed you have rights over your women and your women have rights over you!
Ibn Majah: 3678, graded Hasan by Shaykh Al Albani
The Muslim husband may have his imperfections or shortcomings like any other person, but he should enter into the marriage while building lots of perfect qualities to provide tranquility to his wife. He should build qualities to be a successful husband.
