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How to live your life without marriage

by: mybetterhalf

An ongoing debate on marriage outputs had interesting sarcastic arguments. The daughter of Eve said, “Adam was alone in Jannah and Allah gave him a wife instead of friends, socializing activities or entertaining gadgets, which makes a wife the most essential person in a man’s life” A quick reply landed from the son of Adam, “Adam had to come down from Jannah because his wife was tempted to eat first from the forbidden tree! Wives can get you driven out of a peaceful life while friends and socializing life can give you comfort”.

One of the mindsets built by a few liberal Muslim speakers is to either delay nikah or remain unmarried instead of going through a traumatic life. The victims of such speakers search for answers to ‘How to live without marriage?’

Islam has always given financial, physical and emotional security to couples in legislative ways. A share in inheritance, caring children and grandchildren, virtuous opportunity if remarry and a guarantee of blessings in Rizq for the married ones even if they are poor. But what if I chose to remain unmarried? This remains a question for those who have seen abusive marriages and domestic violence around them and do not want to risk their life.

Those who do not want to marry remain confused about how to lead life without marriage and they fall into few categories-

  1. Widows and divorcees who have kids. They do not think of having a stepfather for their children. Hadith appreciates a widow who does not remarry for the sake of her children and guarantees a status close to the prophet (Peace be upon him) (Abu Dawud:5149)
  2. A man who lost his wife either by divorce or death, is reluctant to marry because his next wife may not be so affectionate towards his children. Jabir bin Abdullah (Allah be pleased with him) lost his father in battle ( his mother had already died) leaving few young daughters so he chose to marry an elderly woman who could take care of his sisters.
  3. Those who prefer ‘Zina and Fahisha’ without marrying in order to avoid social, emotional and financial commitments. They prefer life with no responsibilities.
  4. Scholarly and religiously committed few individuals whose lives are dedicated to a noble cause. Ibn Taymiya and Imam Bukhari remained unmarried but they made a massive contribution to the Muslim generations in return.
  5. People who can't afford to marry or can't find someone who they can marry for certain reason.

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدَانُ، عَنْ أَبِي حَمْزَةَ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، عَنْ عَلْقَمَةَ، قَالَ بَيْنَا أَنَا أَمْشِي، مَعَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ فَقَالَ كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ ‏"‏ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ، فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ‏"‏‏.

Narrated 'Alqama:
While I was walking with `Abdullah he said, "We were in the company of the Prophet (ﷺ) and he said, 'He who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him refrain from looking at other women, and save his private parts from committing illegal sexual relation; and he who cannot afford to marry is advised to fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual power."

Sahih Al-Bukhari: 1905 

Those who search for ways to live without marriage, for them is the bad news. There is no compensation for marriage because it is highly recommended by Allah and His Messenger. A person may try to make up for a marriageless life by taking up a social project, staying active, earning more, pursuing his passions, and embracing solitude, yet he may miss a family at one time or another, especially during old age when he needs children and grandchildren around him to talk to him, accompany him to hospital and helping him fulfill his daily needs.

Many senior citizens without spouses are seen living with dogs, and cats with little assistance from their servants. Can a spouse be replaced by such options? So this should give a conclusion to the question - How is life without marriage? Just check the plight of people who are living alone without spouse.

While some may choose a solitary path, it often leads to encountering unforeseen pain and devastation. To avoid this mybetterhalf provides an opportunity to start a new life through its muslim matrimonial service. Therefore it is better not to regret when you have the assurance of Allah. 

وَٱللَّهُ جَعَلَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَزۡوَٰجٗا وَجَعَلَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَزۡوَٰجِكُم بَنِينَ وَحَفَدَةٗ وَرَزَقَكُم مِّنَ ٱلطَّيِّبَٰتِۚ أَفَبِٱلۡبَٰطِلِ يُؤۡمِنُونَ وَبِنِعۡمَتِ ٱللَّهِ هُمۡ يَكۡفُرُونَ

And Allah has made for you wives of your own kind, and has made for you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and has bestowed on you good provision. Do they then believe in false deities and deny the Favour of Allah

Surah Nahl: 72