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Here is how a Divorced Family looks like

by: Nisaar Nadiadwala

A man of 35 in Sweden, born and brought up in Pakistan, got married to a Pakistani girl in Sweden. After two kids, the couple got separated. They were not staying together for the past three years although divorce was not done until then. Some people, including myself, tried for to reconcile them but there was no progress. How do they manage their lives? Here is a glimpse of the family. Both, the husband and the wife, think that he or she is the only one suffering and carrying all the burden while the other is relaxing and enjoying life.

The wife keeps both the children. She has aged parents who are too old and weak to fight for her legal rights. Rather, they are living on pension. The woman works in a firm. She wakes up at fajr, quickly cooks breakfast and lunch for the kids, drags them out of their bed and gets them ready after a struggle. At times, morning begins with screams and even a few harsh scoldings and a hurried bath and dress up. She has no maids nor any babysitter. By the time she is back from office, the kids are with grandparents staying next door. Rest of the day she is busy, frustrated, depressed and tired of balancing between work and kids. She is playing three roles- a mother and father at home, while an executive in office. According to her, she works for around 15 hours a day and has no time for her own leisure. "It's more than over-time", she cries in her letter. 

And what about him? Her allegations, "He is busy with his online girlfriends and Skype, collects money from his salary and visits once a week for a couple of hours to meet the kids. Enjoying his solitude. Plans to go to the US as he is a doctor.

The man is lonely for the past three years; spent three Eids and Ramadhans in loneliness. He had no one to talk to, except a few business meets and work. He has to clean his house and arrange for his food and wash his clothes on his own. He complains, "I am trapped after coming here. There is money but no family life, no fun in life nor any hobby. I can't even meet my children except for once a week".

And what about her? He alleges, "She is having the kids and her own house and has parents on her side. I don't have anyone here. She earns and stays happily without me".

AND WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN? The children want the parents to be together. They put in their innocent efforts to bring back Daddy but Mom has her own conditions. They want Daddy to talk to Mom but he has his own ego. None of the two are willing to give up. 

Egos are really very costly. So think before you jump out or throw your spouse out of your life. It could be either you yourself or your kids who would feel thrown out, because the picture that shaitan shows you of your spouse is a happy one without you.